actually, I'm a sock model
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
