Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
