I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize