i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
