so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
