did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
