I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
