It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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