check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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