i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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