i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
