A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize