my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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