Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
