And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
