At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
