just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
