NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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