the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
