please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
