Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
