I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
