New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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