If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
