But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
