ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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