Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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