I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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