I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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