why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
