The maid of honor just puked.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
