Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
