i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
