K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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