we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
