FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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