My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize