i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
