We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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