Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
