ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you had me at cake vodka
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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