did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
