Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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