Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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