I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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