We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize