You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
