Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
