Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize