toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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