all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize