Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I FOUND THE LEGS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize