if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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