Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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