Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
