I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think my fart just growled at me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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