Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
