so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
