Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
organizing the empties. That sober.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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