And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize