We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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