you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
