you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
