He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
