i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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