we're blogging at a bar
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
