Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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