I CAN MOONWALK!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
